God is everywhere.
I know, I know. Talk about stating the obvious, huh? A few years ago, I was talking with a friend about finding God in the normal routine of life. She had a toddler that kept her pretty busy, so she had been lamenting that she didn't have time to read her Bible as much as she wanted to. I remember tilting my head to the side and giving her a tidbit of "wisdom"(as I like to call it, but some would just call it "advice"). From that day on, though, I have always looked for God in the ordinary. From the tiniest snowflake, to the joy of a child's laughter, God is everywhere. May all glory be to Him who reveals Himself in the most minute ways to confound us!
(Sorry, I can get caught up in Him sometimes- I can't type when I'm worshipping).
As I was soaking in the Prayer Garden tonight, my eye caught the pattern from one of the folding chairs. It's a pretty pattern of interlocking circles on a grayish-brown background. As I was studying it, I realized that there was a cross pattern in it. The circles (comprised of curved and straight lines) formed a Maltese cross. As the pattern expanded, there was anther cross that was created by five circles.
Five is the number of grace and the cross. I thought it was fitting. At this cross, however, the points of the circles intersection were made of four Maltese crosses. Four is the number of man-again, fitting, because "in Christ, all things hold together (Col. 1:17b)". The crosses could be expanded in either direction. I thought it was cool.
There was also a pattern of eights in the fabric, too. Eight is the number of new beginnings, which is one of the goals of the Garden. All are welcome to come experience His presence and be "renewed" in their mind and spirit. I then tipped the eight on its side, which became the symbol for infinity. God is without end, as is His mercy, grace, and love. He is called "El Olam", the Everlasting God. His Son is called "Alpha kai Omega", or the "Alpha and Omega". Jesus put an end to our fear death through His own. In Him, we can find a rest from all our cares and burdens. He also testified to the us about the Father. The two crosses stand for His faithful and true witness to us (Rev. 1:5).
God is in the everyday lives of His children. So often we sidestep the small things in order to gain the big things. I know that my reach sometimes exceeds my grasp in my walk with the Lord, but I know that if I am faithful in the small things, I will be ready for the big things. Take a look around. How is the Lord speaking to you today? You'd be surprised at the number of "love notes" He leaves for you throughout the day.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
In the Army now
We are drafted in the heavenly armies when we submit our lives to Christ. We become soldiers in his army, as expressed by the apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 2:4:
No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs,
rather, they try to please their commanding officer.
So how are we soldiers? We fight battles with our natural selves (Romans 7:5-6, 8:4) and we fight in the unseen realm (Ephesians 6: 12). By nature, without Christ, we are lost. We are bound for hell, and there is no hope outside of Him. Once we are saved, He becomes our Commander-in-Chief. we are thrown into a battle for ourselves and for others the second we enlist. The enemy will stop at nothing to derail us from our missions. The flesh, money, power, comfort-all of these things are good when they honor God. But these become weapons against us if they become our focus instead of our Commander. He clothes us in heavenly armor so that we may stand against the enemy. Along the way, He grants us fellowship with others so His army can work as a unified front. Christ appoints the generals that we follow.
Our bishops, pastors, deacons, and priests are our generals. These people have been called and ordained by our Commander to lead us into battle. They have been following Christ for some time, perhaps years, and have proven loyal. They are worthy of our respect. They are accountable for us to the Lord. They are literally His shepherds here on earth. But before the battle starts, the generals call on the intercessors (or scouts).
The intercessors use prayer to "scout" the landscape and lift if up to the Commander. They report what they have seen or heard to the generals. Very often these briefings will include battle plans and tips from the Commander on who the enemy (be it a ruler, principality, or the like) is and where they are. They also decide how to defeat the enemy. Remember, unlike earthly battles, the Battle of the Ages has already won, and we're on the winning side. Before the battle begins, the generals and scouts have to train their units. The people appointed to this task are the teachers.
An army is only as good as its training. If a soldier is trained poorly, he or she can drag his or her unit down. The teacher's job is to train the soldier to withstand enemy attack and follow orders from those about him or her. They also foster a camaraderie in the ranks among the soldiers, so the unit learns to function as one. This is vital on the battle field, just as it is in the spiritual realm. As soldiers, we fight for the Truth which we have gained, sometimes to the death.
Sometimes, we get wounded in battle. This is where the "medics" come in. Soldiers are taught how to heal, but some have more of an anointing than others. These people either go out onto the field and retrieve the sick and wounded (apostles) or they are behind the scenes, evacuating and treating the hurt. Through the battle, the worship leaders raise the battle cry to keep the troops' morale up. They are the modern day drummer boys.
Each soldier is equipped with special gift(s), so they may glorify God. Our Commander-in-Chief lives to help us win our everyday battles against ourselves and our enemy.
Our battle cry: HE IS RISEN!
Our calling: SECURE.
The outcome: JESUS CHRIST IS LORD OF ALL!
No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs,
rather, they try to please their commanding officer.
So how are we soldiers? We fight battles with our natural selves (Romans 7:5-6, 8:4) and we fight in the unseen realm (Ephesians 6: 12). By nature, without Christ, we are lost. We are bound for hell, and there is no hope outside of Him. Once we are saved, He becomes our Commander-in-Chief. we are thrown into a battle for ourselves and for others the second we enlist. The enemy will stop at nothing to derail us from our missions. The flesh, money, power, comfort-all of these things are good when they honor God. But these become weapons against us if they become our focus instead of our Commander. He clothes us in heavenly armor so that we may stand against the enemy. Along the way, He grants us fellowship with others so His army can work as a unified front. Christ appoints the generals that we follow.
Our bishops, pastors, deacons, and priests are our generals. These people have been called and ordained by our Commander to lead us into battle. They have been following Christ for some time, perhaps years, and have proven loyal. They are worthy of our respect. They are accountable for us to the Lord. They are literally His shepherds here on earth. But before the battle starts, the generals call on the intercessors (or scouts).
The intercessors use prayer to "scout" the landscape and lift if up to the Commander. They report what they have seen or heard to the generals. Very often these briefings will include battle plans and tips from the Commander on who the enemy (be it a ruler, principality, or the like) is and where they are. They also decide how to defeat the enemy. Remember, unlike earthly battles, the Battle of the Ages has already won, and we're on the winning side. Before the battle begins, the generals and scouts have to train their units. The people appointed to this task are the teachers.
An army is only as good as its training. If a soldier is trained poorly, he or she can drag his or her unit down. The teacher's job is to train the soldier to withstand enemy attack and follow orders from those about him or her. They also foster a camaraderie in the ranks among the soldiers, so the unit learns to function as one. This is vital on the battle field, just as it is in the spiritual realm. As soldiers, we fight for the Truth which we have gained, sometimes to the death.
Sometimes, we get wounded in battle. This is where the "medics" come in. Soldiers are taught how to heal, but some have more of an anointing than others. These people either go out onto the field and retrieve the sick and wounded (apostles) or they are behind the scenes, evacuating and treating the hurt. Through the battle, the worship leaders raise the battle cry to keep the troops' morale up. They are the modern day drummer boys.
Each soldier is equipped with special gift(s), so they may glorify God. Our Commander-in-Chief lives to help us win our everyday battles against ourselves and our enemy.
Our battle cry: HE IS RISEN!
Our calling: SECURE.
The outcome: JESUS CHRIST IS LORD OF ALL!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Food for thought
Recently, a session of the Open Heavens conference surfaced at a favorite haunt of mine. I had heard of the conference, but hadn't actually seen or heard what they were about. So I took a look at it. To say it (the session) was interesting is putting it mildly, I think. Bob Jones and Doug Addison did a great job explaining what I have sensed for awhile since our president took office on January 20.
Our country is having some serious issues right now. I won't go into detail, because I'm sure that you're quite familiar with them. Mr. Jones mentioned an excellent verse from Isaiah:
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (v.3)
The word steadfast can also be translated in some instances to mean "attached to", as well as "steady" or "loyal". If we are firmly rooted in God, we have nothing to fear. Our Father always provides, whether on our time or no. If we keep ourselves attached to Jesus, who is attached to the Father, we can experience peace about our circumstances, right?
Mr. Jones also mentioned that the United States was under judgement, and that the church is exempt from these judgements of anxiety, fear, depression and panic. Here's my question:
Are we exempt because we are in the church, or because the church is in us?
Many might say that since we are in the church, we are safe. I don't think that's true. There are plenty of people who have "fire insurance" at church who are very freaked out now. These people have chosen to put their trust in something other than the Lord. They are focusing on earthly things instead of the eternal. When we focus on the Lord instead, we can have peace. Not the peace that the world gives, but the kind that comes from a relationship with Jesus (see John 14:27).
This should be a busy time for us as His followers. If our branches are firmly connected to His vine, we will not be shaken. Will tough times come? Absolutely. We're not free from that part. In this time of shaking, we need to be re-presenting Christ to the world where we are. Even the smallest branch can bear fruit. That lady you smiled at in line at the store? She may have needed that today, as she just lost her job. That smile, to her, may have been her lifeline. She may have even wondered what makes you so happy. If our focus is on Jesus, we can point others to Him and invite them to focus on Him as well.
When our focus is on Jesus, we have no time for fear, anxiety, panic, and depression. His joy lifts us up, His Presence reassures us, and He has promised to return for us.
Now there's something to chew on.
Our country is having some serious issues right now. I won't go into detail, because I'm sure that you're quite familiar with them. Mr. Jones mentioned an excellent verse from Isaiah:
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (v.3)
The word steadfast can also be translated in some instances to mean "attached to", as well as "steady" or "loyal". If we are firmly rooted in God, we have nothing to fear. Our Father always provides, whether on our time or no. If we keep ourselves attached to Jesus, who is attached to the Father, we can experience peace about our circumstances, right?
Mr. Jones also mentioned that the United States was under judgement, and that the church is exempt from these judgements of anxiety, fear, depression and panic. Here's my question:
Are we exempt because we are in the church, or because the church is in us?
Many might say that since we are in the church, we are safe. I don't think that's true. There are plenty of people who have "fire insurance" at church who are very freaked out now. These people have chosen to put their trust in something other than the Lord. They are focusing on earthly things instead of the eternal. When we focus on the Lord instead, we can have peace. Not the peace that the world gives, but the kind that comes from a relationship with Jesus (see John 14:27).
This should be a busy time for us as His followers. If our branches are firmly connected to His vine, we will not be shaken. Will tough times come? Absolutely. We're not free from that part. In this time of shaking, we need to be re-presenting Christ to the world where we are. Even the smallest branch can bear fruit. That lady you smiled at in line at the store? She may have needed that today, as she just lost her job. That smile, to her, may have been her lifeline. She may have even wondered what makes you so happy. If our focus is on Jesus, we can point others to Him and invite them to focus on Him as well.
When our focus is on Jesus, we have no time for fear, anxiety, panic, and depression. His joy lifts us up, His Presence reassures us, and He has promised to return for us.
Now there's something to chew on.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Suit Up!
Stand firm, then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place...Ephesians 6:14
Our troops do not go into battle unarmed and unprotected. Why should it be any different with the followers of Christ? We fight in an unseen world, undetectable to the world around us, but our spirit recognizes its enemies. Our worldly enemies use camouflage to mask their efforts from our troops.
Sadly, the enemy uses camouflage as well. The following details a slip-up that occured when I let my "armor" down. Like everyone else, I don't like to air my mess-ups for the world to see, but this is one I felt led to share.
I woke up feeling drained spiritually. I made the decision to sleep in and allow for some extra rest. That was mistake number one. Finally, I got up, dressed, and went to work. Two of my fellow workers were in a rare mood that day. Both were not feeling well. Both have a tendency to gossip a little too much about other employees at times. I usually refrain, deeming it none of my business. Today, however, I decided to "indulge" in a little criticism of a few co-workers. BIG mistake.
I allowed myself to get wrapped up in their tales about So-and-So and What's-Her-Face. I went back to do some dishes, minding my own business, when I suddenly had a massive pain in my chest right above my heart. I evaluated the situation, and "heard" the words "breastplate of righteousness". The Lord opened my spiritual "eyes", and I repented immediately. I asked for forgiveness and tried to figure out what was causing the pain in my chest.
The Lord showed me that I had allowed the enemy an open door to attack through my criticism of others. Singing quietly, I worshipped at the dish sink, speaking with the Lord, and the pain began to lessen. As my shift ended, it was nothing but a dull ache. It was completely gone by Sunday afternoon (Praise God!).
In Charles F. Stanley's book, When the Enemy Strikes, he writes that the breastplate of righteousness is maintained by living obediently before God (page 147). Was I being obedient when I ignored the promptings to immerse myself in the Word before work, instead choosing to sleep? Not in the slightest. Was I obeying when I was slandering my coworkers? Nope.
Stanley goes on to write, "The 'heart' refers to the seat of the person's will, and also to the emotions, beliefs, and attitudes that feed into what a person wills or chooses (page 150)". I made the choice to disobey-no wonder I got attacked! We are called to be like Christ, not just in a few things, but in everything.
The Lord has asked me to live an open life before the world, so this is why I am sharing my struggles with all. I'm not perfect. One of the most important lessons I have learned is that this Christian walk is a journey. No one has "arrived" yet on this planet. One of the church's biggest flaws is presenting a spotless image to a world that is hurting and angry. We need to live a life that is real before the Lord and set His standard as ours. One of my favorite quotes is by a passionate warrior who laid down his life for God. It has since become one of my earnest prayers:
I will not be satisfied. I will not let my passion be held in a bottle. I will not let my light be hidden. I will stand up. I will let my voice be heard. I will lead. I will serve. I will fight...I will unsheathe my sword. It's time to raise a revolution. God will give me strength.
-B.J. Higgins, 1989-2005
Our troops do not go into battle unarmed and unprotected. Why should it be any different with the followers of Christ? We fight in an unseen world, undetectable to the world around us, but our spirit recognizes its enemies. Our worldly enemies use camouflage to mask their efforts from our troops.
Sadly, the enemy uses camouflage as well. The following details a slip-up that occured when I let my "armor" down. Like everyone else, I don't like to air my mess-ups for the world to see, but this is one I felt led to share.
I woke up feeling drained spiritually. I made the decision to sleep in and allow for some extra rest. That was mistake number one. Finally, I got up, dressed, and went to work. Two of my fellow workers were in a rare mood that day. Both were not feeling well. Both have a tendency to gossip a little too much about other employees at times. I usually refrain, deeming it none of my business. Today, however, I decided to "indulge" in a little criticism of a few co-workers. BIG mistake.
I allowed myself to get wrapped up in their tales about So-and-So and What's-Her-Face. I went back to do some dishes, minding my own business, when I suddenly had a massive pain in my chest right above my heart. I evaluated the situation, and "heard" the words "breastplate of righteousness". The Lord opened my spiritual "eyes", and I repented immediately. I asked for forgiveness and tried to figure out what was causing the pain in my chest.
The Lord showed me that I had allowed the enemy an open door to attack through my criticism of others. Singing quietly, I worshipped at the dish sink, speaking with the Lord, and the pain began to lessen. As my shift ended, it was nothing but a dull ache. It was completely gone by Sunday afternoon (Praise God!).
In Charles F. Stanley's book, When the Enemy Strikes, he writes that the breastplate of righteousness is maintained by living obediently before God (page 147). Was I being obedient when I ignored the promptings to immerse myself in the Word before work, instead choosing to sleep? Not in the slightest. Was I obeying when I was slandering my coworkers? Nope.
Stanley goes on to write, "The 'heart' refers to the seat of the person's will, and also to the emotions, beliefs, and attitudes that feed into what a person wills or chooses (page 150)". I made the choice to disobey-no wonder I got attacked! We are called to be like Christ, not just in a few things, but in everything.
The Lord has asked me to live an open life before the world, so this is why I am sharing my struggles with all. I'm not perfect. One of the most important lessons I have learned is that this Christian walk is a journey. No one has "arrived" yet on this planet. One of the church's biggest flaws is presenting a spotless image to a world that is hurting and angry. We need to live a life that is real before the Lord and set His standard as ours. One of my favorite quotes is by a passionate warrior who laid down his life for God. It has since become one of my earnest prayers:
I will not be satisfied. I will not let my passion be held in a bottle. I will not let my light be hidden. I will stand up. I will let my voice be heard. I will lead. I will serve. I will fight...I will unsheathe my sword. It's time to raise a revolution. God will give me strength.
-B.J. Higgins, 1989-2005
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Precious ones who do not know Him
From http://prayforbj.blogspot.com -a great post by BJ's dad. May you be blessee by reading.
Who will go to the meet the needs of these who do not know Him? Who will deny self, and wear the splinters of rough hewn timber embedded in shoulder and back to fulfill the call of the Almighty?
It is necessary that we pray. It is necessary that we lift up others who go. It is necessary that we support those who are willing, so that they might go. These are worthy pursuits.
But who will go? Who will take on the commission of their King? Who will realize they are ruined and can only serve their Savior by going...that they have been running from His hand on their hearts for long enough?
Where can you go to escape? Are combative words and spirit enough to bring peace where turmoil boils? Can one escape the grip of grace by indulging the dross of bounty? Can belief and acceptance of worldly marketing schemes bring pleasure and satisfaction?
Can we continue to stand shoulder to shoulder with others who refuse to go, Sunday after Sunday, in a game of eternal red rover? Do we feel better about our Christianity when we have more who feel like we do than will respond to what Scripture compels us to do?
Does it matter that many die daily in our land and others, apart from the knowledge of Christ, while we gather at dinner parties or fellowship activities, telling no one who Jesus is? Do we really care? Is there any evidence to reflect our concern?
Jesus died that others might live. Is it really our right to live while others die and we withdraw to the security of our own escape and inaction?
When will we care? What will it take to move us from concern to obedience?
What does it profit the lost if we have the power of the testimony of Salvation, and only ever hold it close, thinking it not radical enough to impact another's life? What does that profit the Kingdom of God?
Are we really so selfish that escaping through the flames while keeping our own Salvation is enough? Is that what the Gospel is all about to us? Is that the measure of our motivation and progress in our relationship with Him?
Have we become lukewarm and in full denial of it?
What will it be like to relax in a pool of swill, assuring ourselves we've got it together, only to awake as we are spat out?
What DOES it profit a man to gain the whole world? Is the forfeiture of our souls a clause we're unconcerned about because we've found a loophole and a lawyer?
Who are the sheep? Who are the goats?
If we know a believer by his fruit, are we embracing famine?
Open war is upon us. Are we content to withdraw into the keep, holding out hope that the enemy will give up due to the strength of our fortress? Is God our fortress? If so, why do we reside within church walls that don't spill out people who are willing to walk in that same Gods' obedience?
Today, we must choose.
Will our knees bend that we might pray, or will they remain stiff that we can stand tall in our own pride?
Will our mouths be filled and then emptied of words of a Savior, or will they drink in the coffee of the day, and swallow its bitter flavor?
Will our hearts yield to allow Jesus to reign, or harden that we might enjoy another day of leisure?
How many more have passed into eternal separation from God while we read words and remain unmoved by His Spirit?
Who will go to the meet the needs of these who do not know Him? Who will deny self, and wear the splinters of rough hewn timber embedded in shoulder and back to fulfill the call of the Almighty?
It is necessary that we pray. It is necessary that we lift up others who go. It is necessary that we support those who are willing, so that they might go. These are worthy pursuits.
But who will go? Who will take on the commission of their King? Who will realize they are ruined and can only serve their Savior by going...that they have been running from His hand on their hearts for long enough?
Where can you go to escape? Are combative words and spirit enough to bring peace where turmoil boils? Can one escape the grip of grace by indulging the dross of bounty? Can belief and acceptance of worldly marketing schemes bring pleasure and satisfaction?
Can we continue to stand shoulder to shoulder with others who refuse to go, Sunday after Sunday, in a game of eternal red rover? Do we feel better about our Christianity when we have more who feel like we do than will respond to what Scripture compels us to do?
Does it matter that many die daily in our land and others, apart from the knowledge of Christ, while we gather at dinner parties or fellowship activities, telling no one who Jesus is? Do we really care? Is there any evidence to reflect our concern?
Jesus died that others might live. Is it really our right to live while others die and we withdraw to the security of our own escape and inaction?
When will we care? What will it take to move us from concern to obedience?
What does it profit the lost if we have the power of the testimony of Salvation, and only ever hold it close, thinking it not radical enough to impact another's life? What does that profit the Kingdom of God?
Are we really so selfish that escaping through the flames while keeping our own Salvation is enough? Is that what the Gospel is all about to us? Is that the measure of our motivation and progress in our relationship with Him?
Have we become lukewarm and in full denial of it?
What will it be like to relax in a pool of swill, assuring ourselves we've got it together, only to awake as we are spat out?
What DOES it profit a man to gain the whole world? Is the forfeiture of our souls a clause we're unconcerned about because we've found a loophole and a lawyer?
Who are the sheep? Who are the goats?
If we know a believer by his fruit, are we embracing famine?
Open war is upon us. Are we content to withdraw into the keep, holding out hope that the enemy will give up due to the strength of our fortress? Is God our fortress? If so, why do we reside within church walls that don't spill out people who are willing to walk in that same Gods' obedience?
Today, we must choose.
Will our knees bend that we might pray, or will they remain stiff that we can stand tall in our own pride?
Will our mouths be filled and then emptied of words of a Savior, or will they drink in the coffee of the day, and swallow its bitter flavor?
Will our hearts yield to allow Jesus to reign, or harden that we might enjoy another day of leisure?
How many more have passed into eternal separation from God while we read words and remain unmoved by His Spirit?
Monday, March 9, 2009
Life-changing prayer
I love my mom. We've done and been though a lot of things together over the years, and I count her as a friend as well as my mom. That being said, we don't always see eye-to-eye. Until recently, our arguments followed the same format: "I'm right because I'm your mother and you should listen to me".
As I was soaking in the Lord's presence one day, I realized that my prayers about my mom's attitude had changed mine. All the prayers I had sent up about her attitude towards Him and towards me had been replaced with a peace towards her. I realized that she didn't argue to cause me grief. She was trying to figure out where I was coming from, and how to make sense of our changing relationship. We had been joined at the hip for so long she felt left out of my new life. The Lord impressed upon me that since she is a social person, I needed to spend quality time with her and encourage her to talk about her feelings. He also showed me that this was not a new pattern: she had learned it from her mother. I've followed His advice, and have seen some breakthrough. I'm pushing for more, though. He can handle anything I throw at Him!
As I was meditating on this, a quote popped into my head by James Dillet Freeman:
"Sometimes, the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes you".
I'm ready for more change. I want to live in His consistency and His ability. Heaven can come down and invade earth. I believe that we can actually live there, walking in step with what heaven is doing. Walking out heaven here on earth day-by-day. I'm happy just thinking about that! Prayer helps us accomplish that-it pushes and challenges, but it also changes for the better.
So go pray and see what the Lord does-the results will surprise you!
As I was soaking in the Lord's presence one day, I realized that my prayers about my mom's attitude had changed mine. All the prayers I had sent up about her attitude towards Him and towards me had been replaced with a peace towards her. I realized that she didn't argue to cause me grief. She was trying to figure out where I was coming from, and how to make sense of our changing relationship. We had been joined at the hip for so long she felt left out of my new life. The Lord impressed upon me that since she is a social person, I needed to spend quality time with her and encourage her to talk about her feelings. He also showed me that this was not a new pattern: she had learned it from her mother. I've followed His advice, and have seen some breakthrough. I'm pushing for more, though. He can handle anything I throw at Him!
As I was meditating on this, a quote popped into my head by James Dillet Freeman:
"Sometimes, the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes you".
I'm ready for more change. I want to live in His consistency and His ability. Heaven can come down and invade earth. I believe that we can actually live there, walking in step with what heaven is doing. Walking out heaven here on earth day-by-day. I'm happy just thinking about that! Prayer helps us accomplish that-it pushes and challenges, but it also changes for the better.
So go pray and see what the Lord does-the results will surprise you!
The way I was meant to be
What is my purpose in life?
During my last year at college, I realized that I didn't know who I was nor what I wanted out of life. I had a desperate desire to please and gain approval from those around me, so I morphed into what they wanted me to be. I knew that what God thought of me was the place to start.
So, I made a radical decision: I left the church that I grew up in in search God and His purpose for me. I like my routine, so this was a MAJOR step. I had to step away from my past to look to the future. Looking back, I can see what He was doing, but at the time, I was sailing in uncharted waters.
For a few years, all I could seem to get was the outward reflection of who I should be. The church I had joined was concerned about my "spiritual man", but they weren't too keen on cultivating it. I volunteered, taught Sunday School, managed the Leadership students, and was the go-to person for a lot of people. Though I was seen as a leader at my church, I was dying spiritually. I was starving for God. I went on anti-depressants for awhile because I was trying to reach God through "busy-ness". I felt that I was a failure in my search for God.
While I was floundering, I continued my quest to find God. By this time, several friends had left my church and had started attending the Sanctuary. Also, I had requested a leave of absence at Sunday School and resigned from the ministry team. I was a wreck spiritually. I was not hearing God, and I was desperate. I had had several tastes of Him during worship time at church, and I was just hungry. The Lord saw that and began leading me away again from my comfort zone.
One of my friends at the Sanctuary invited me to come to her birthday party at CASI. As I was pulling into the parking lot, my one thought was :He's here! I couldn't get into the building fast enough. I could sense the presence of God in an amazing way. I was so starved that I just walked around the building, soaking it in. The anointing soothed my spirit and my mind. At that time, I was suffering from a cloud of fear and doubt. To be relieved of that burden was a blessing!. By the time I went into the party, I was on the verge of tears. I was so relieved that I could finally sense Him after several weeks. I had gone so long without Him-it was like reuniting with an old friend.
Needless to say, I joined the Sanctuary. Things began to open up for me-I could hear His voice clearly and we would talk for a little bit at a time. I was still hungry for more, so I thought about checking out the Prayer Garden. I put it off, and put it off, until the Lord said, "After break, I want you to go". I shrugged it off. The Lord then built a hunger in me to go see it. I ended up going, and I'm now a regular. The Garden was a place that I could go and draw what He showed me, learn about Him, and listen to His voice. It was there that I realized just how much He loved me. He was proud of me, and He loved me beyond measure. Even today, I still get "downloads" of God's love. Not just for myself, but for others as well. In His eyes, I am the most beautiful thing in His creation, and that is the way I was meant to be.
To be loved by Him and to love Him back with my whole heart, mind, soul, and strength.
To listen and watch for His coming.
To live in His faithfulness and consistency, not my own.
To do things that are impossible by myself. All I need to do is rest in Him, and He'll take care of the rest.
It's good to be friends with the King.
During my last year at college, I realized that I didn't know who I was nor what I wanted out of life. I had a desperate desire to please and gain approval from those around me, so I morphed into what they wanted me to be. I knew that what God thought of me was the place to start.
So, I made a radical decision: I left the church that I grew up in in search God and His purpose for me. I like my routine, so this was a MAJOR step. I had to step away from my past to look to the future. Looking back, I can see what He was doing, but at the time, I was sailing in uncharted waters.
For a few years, all I could seem to get was the outward reflection of who I should be. The church I had joined was concerned about my "spiritual man", but they weren't too keen on cultivating it. I volunteered, taught Sunday School, managed the Leadership students, and was the go-to person for a lot of people. Though I was seen as a leader at my church, I was dying spiritually. I was starving for God. I went on anti-depressants for awhile because I was trying to reach God through "busy-ness". I felt that I was a failure in my search for God.
While I was floundering, I continued my quest to find God. By this time, several friends had left my church and had started attending the Sanctuary. Also, I had requested a leave of absence at Sunday School and resigned from the ministry team. I was a wreck spiritually. I was not hearing God, and I was desperate. I had had several tastes of Him during worship time at church, and I was just hungry. The Lord saw that and began leading me away again from my comfort zone.
One of my friends at the Sanctuary invited me to come to her birthday party at CASI. As I was pulling into the parking lot, my one thought was :He's here! I couldn't get into the building fast enough. I could sense the presence of God in an amazing way. I was so starved that I just walked around the building, soaking it in. The anointing soothed my spirit and my mind. At that time, I was suffering from a cloud of fear and doubt. To be relieved of that burden was a blessing!. By the time I went into the party, I was on the verge of tears. I was so relieved that I could finally sense Him after several weeks. I had gone so long without Him-it was like reuniting with an old friend.
Needless to say, I joined the Sanctuary. Things began to open up for me-I could hear His voice clearly and we would talk for a little bit at a time. I was still hungry for more, so I thought about checking out the Prayer Garden. I put it off, and put it off, until the Lord said, "After break, I want you to go". I shrugged it off. The Lord then built a hunger in me to go see it. I ended up going, and I'm now a regular. The Garden was a place that I could go and draw what He showed me, learn about Him, and listen to His voice. It was there that I realized just how much He loved me. He was proud of me, and He loved me beyond measure. Even today, I still get "downloads" of God's love. Not just for myself, but for others as well. In His eyes, I am the most beautiful thing in His creation, and that is the way I was meant to be.
To be loved by Him and to love Him back with my whole heart, mind, soul, and strength.
To listen and watch for His coming.
To live in His faithfulness and consistency, not my own.
To do things that are impossible by myself. All I need to do is rest in Him, and He'll take care of the rest.
It's good to be friends with the King.
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