Friday, September 25, 2009

An Answered Prayer

Let the darkness lift, oh Lord,
for you are the God who saves me.

Hear my cry for deliverance,
You whom my heart loves.

You will not turn your face from me,
for I am your beloved.

I trust in your love to save me and shelter me.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Outside or inside?

"BEEP,BEEP".



I heard the door just as I rammed two containers of motzerella cheese under the makeline. Of course, the top container got stuck, and my visitor heard a muffled greeting as I fixed it. As I straightened, I smiled at my somewhat bashful customer.

He was a young man in his mid-twenties, with a lean face and pinkish blond hair that snaggled its way out from under his black baseball cap. He had a ratty black shirt on, ripped jeans, and a downcast face. When I took his order, he barely looked me in the face. Very unusual. I try to make eye contact with everyone I meet, so when I finally got him to look up from the counter, he seemed surprised that I smiled at him.

After that, he relaxed. Given his appearance, he had a very polite demeanor and a ready wit. He asked if we were hiring yet, and I remember my boss' boss telling her to hire anyone who was dressed well. I replied, "No, not yet". I was struck by the fact that to the world, this man looked like a loser. But I heard the Holy Spirit say, "This is how one looks before Christ changes him".

Wow.

Untitled

It had been a long day. A long week, for that matter. Yet again, my life had changed almost overnight. Too many things were bombarding me, and my spirit yearned for a rest.
I heard His voice, and I answered, entering the room where my Daddy was. I climbed onto His lap, wearied from my earthly burdens. He put His arms around me and pulled me in close to His heart. Its comforting beat resounded in my ear as I laid my cheek against His robe. We sat in silence, just enjoying each other's company.
Finally, I spoke.
"Daddy? Did you see what's happ-?"
He squeezed me and said, "Beloved, I know". With those words, all of my fears were eased. Of course my Daddy knew. With that, I was content.
Sometimes, when life gets to be too much, we simply need to go to God and have Him tell us He knows what's going on. We just need to spend a few moments in His arms to know that all is and will be well. We need not worry about anything, but simply know that He knows.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Psalm 29

A few years ago, my pastor encouraged us to pray through the Psalms. It's a great way to kick off your day, or get to you motivated when you're feeling disconnected from the Lord. When you speak the Word out loud, your soul will come alive, and you will find that the words flow naturally. Here is Psalm 29 in my words, using the Amplified Bible:

We, the sons of the almighty, will ascribe to You, O Lord, we will ascribe to You glory and strength. We will give You the glory due Your Name and worship You in the beauty of Your holiness.

Your voice, O Lord, is upon the waters; You are the glorious God who thunders upon the waters. For Your voice is powerful and full of majesty, and Your voice breaks the cedars, even the cedars of Lebanon.

For You make them skip like a calf, Lebanon and Mount Hermon like a young, wild ox. Your voice splits and flashes forth forked lightening and makes the wilderness tremble; You shake the wilderness of Kadesh.

Your voice makes the hinds give birth and strips the forests bare. We, in Your Temple, are crying, "GLORY!"

For You sat as king over the deluge and You, O Lord, still sit as king forever! For You will give [unyielding and impenetrable] strength to Your people; You will bless Your people with peace.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Being choosy

If you could sum up the Christian life in one word, what would it be? Why?

I love that question.

It's easy to give the same answers that everyone else gives-"love", "peace", "joy", etc. All of those are good answers. Jesus showed (and still shows) the love of Our Father. His peace is better than the world, (much longer lasting, too), and the joy that comes from a relationship with He who loved us enough to bear our sins on that cross. I used to use those until I found my own word: choice.

When we accepted Him as our Savior, we made a choice. We chose to follow Him wherever He led, to allow Him to mess our lives up, and completely rattle us to show us His amazing love. A life lived with Him is never empty, but filled to the brim. It's a daily choice to "take up our crosses and follow". This commitment needs to be renewed daily, because we would turn away without it. How do we do it? By following what He taught, what He leads us to, who He sends across our path, and so on. John the Baptist said, "He [Jesus] must increase, and I must decrease". Jesus is our path to God, there is no other. Following Him must be the most important decision that we make throughout our days.

Some choices are immediate, others, one can think about. We make dozens, if not hundreds through the day. Recently, a friend invited me to go with him and a few others to a worship service out of town. I was excited, because I loved the people I would get to hang out with-they are so cool! And worshipping God-count me in! It nearly killed me to tell him no. Problem was that I had to work, plus the day after the service was Mother's Day. Mother's day would be long, because of family commitments and work.

I was torn-take my mom out for dinner and go to church the next morning, or spend a wonderful time with God, then suffering the next day. What do I do, what do I do??????

I asked God what I should do. He was quiet. Circumstances changed, and I found myself off early enough to get showered and changed and across the river to our meeting spot. Excited, I asked the Lord if I could go. My mom would understand, I reasoned.

God answered, impressing upon me that I needed to stay home. So I stayed in town. Did I miss that time with God? Not exactly. We had a good time here at home. He showed me that honoring my mom was important to Him. He loves it when we can hang out. It was a tough choice, but then God showed up the next day at my mom's church. The Presence of God was there in a new way. That more than made up for my staying home the night before.

If I had been sleepy from the night before, I would have missed it. I would have allowed something major for me trump something that He wanted to do for others. If I am to follow Him and stay in fellowship, I must decrease and He must increase. End of story.

It's hard to know what God's up to sometimes. He asks us to do some weird things, crazy even. But the blessings that come from resting in and obeying Him are amazing.

So, do you die daily, or live "normal" life? It's up to us to decide.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

When God asks "Why?"

"Why?"

I froze for a split second. I had been wrapping a pizza for a customer. She had a cast on her leg, and I had just blessed her pizza and asked God for healing. Still in shock, I asked if she needed help to her car.She declined, and I was left to ponder why God said "why".

Has God ever asked you that? I mean, the Maker of heaven and earth, who "knows the plans he has for you", and clothes the sparrows of the field, asking you that word.

(It works for God. Toddlers, not so much).

Over the next few days, I heard that word a lot. It wasn't a bad thing, I soon realized. Asking why is an important part of discovering new things. It is also good for examining motives and honing what you already know. Examples included:

"Why are you going there?" (On my way to buy something I didn't need.)
"Why are you thinking that way?" (Frustrated by a self-perceived lack of growth.)
"Why are you here in this place?" (Motive-was I trying to reach God, or impress man?)

It also made me ask myself why I did things or thought a certain way. It opened up a new avenue for us to get to know each other better. I'm still learning to hear from Him-like David in Psalm 139 verse 17, His thoughts are precious to me. I want to hear and see everything He has for me. He's my Father. My Abba watches over me. Like a father teaching his child, so the Father is with all of His children. He wants us to see Him in all his wonder.

I'll end with this "note" from our Father:

May I bless you and keep you,
(I do.)
May my face shine upon you,
(It does.)
May I look upon you with favor,
(I do. :) )
May I grant you my peace.
(As much as you want-just ask.)

Monday, April 27, 2009

A Supernatural Love Story

For God so loved the world...
Our Maker created something out of nothing-our world. The moon and stars were carefully set in place (Psalm 8:3). He spoke life into the skies and the seas, earth and animal. He looked, and saw that it was good. Then, He scooped up a handful of dirt and began to fashion "adam". God gave him ears to hear and a mouth to speak His instructions to all of His creation. He also formed a partner for Adam so His joy would be doubled. Though sin had not entered the world yet, our Father had a plan in place.

That he gave his one and Only Son...
Man's authority was traded to the enemy of God, a fallen angel. The Divine redemption plan was then set in motion. God's enemy was wary, knowing that this New Man was coming. This New Man was Jesus, sent by His Father to rescue the world from the enemy. By living perfectly, Jesus redeemed man through his blood. There was no "Plan B", and He knew it. He refused to let distractions keep Him from what His Papa would have Him do.

That whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life...
Jesus died a horrible death so that those who believe may have eternal life. This divine exchange calls for laying down our lives that we had before and taking up His plan for us(Matthew 16:24). In the days of the Tabernacle and Temple, only the best sacrifices would do for God. As our living sacrifice, Jesus took on our sins to redeem us from the enemy. For those who believe in him, the enemy has no hold over us. Jesus came so that we can have the best of life-a relationship with the Father who loves us more than we could ever imagine.

It's easy to quote the above Scripture and ignore what it says. It's a message that we as believers need to remind ourselves of and tell a dying world.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Musings


Diving to Your depths,

we will go.

Climbing to Your heavens,

we will soar.

Sun, moon, and stars worship You.


Nothing here lasts,

we are dust.

Pain cries out,

we cry Love.

All creation joins in Your song.


Sold out for silver,

we sit shamed.

Risen as gold,

we worship You.

For all is nothing without You.


What is Your price?

We will gladly pay.

Whatever You ask,

we will do.

Worthy are You of all of our praise.


(Happy Easter!)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Saying Goodbye

It's always difficult to say goodbye to some one you love. We recently had to put our dog of nine years down because of cancer. My mother and I both knew it was time, but I suffered from second thoughts once it was done.

As I was soaking in the Lord that night, I saw our dog running and playing with a pack of other dogs. They were fetching what looked like a red rubber ball thrown by someone I couldn't quite see. Morgan looked wonderful-his reddish-gold coat shimmered in the sunlight, and he was having the best time. I walked a little closer, and saw that Jesus was throwing the ball for them.

He turned to me and smiled gently. "You did the right thing. He's okay now."

Sniffling, I replied, "I know. He's in the best place he could be. Forgive us for being so selfish, Lord. He needed to be with you." I marveled at how easily Morgan moved and how the tummy that was so distended by disease was now perfect. His muscles rippled as Jesus threw the ball again. Only this time, the dogs came to me instead. Kindly, Jesus offered me the ball. I could feel its weight in my hand as I tossed it into the air.

I was surprised to see our old dog, Bogey, standing next to Morgan. They seemed to have become best friends right away. Then Morgan caught my eye. We had a habit of looking into each other's eyes and communicating that way. Those amber-colored eyes regarded me so joyfully I started to sob. They told me that he was okay, that he didn't hurt anymore. Then I got a message from all of the dogs: "Throw the ball!!!!!"

I threw the ball for them, and as they ran away, I woke up from my dream.

The Lord is faithful to comfort those who ask. I always ask for a vision or dream. They are very vivid and sensory for me, and comfort me beyond my ability to understand. For all of us who have lost someone, we know that death has been swallowed up in victory. So just as we comforted, we are to comfort those who grieve. Though we may not know what to say or do, sometimes just being there is enough.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Everyday God

God is everywhere.

I know, I know. Talk about stating the obvious, huh? A few years ago, I was talking with a friend about finding God in the normal routine of life. She had a toddler that kept her pretty busy, so she had been lamenting that she didn't have time to read her Bible as much as she wanted to. I remember tilting my head to the side and giving her a tidbit of "wisdom"(as I like to call it, but some would just call it "advice"). From that day on, though, I have always looked for God in the ordinary. From the tiniest snowflake, to the joy of a child's laughter, God is everywhere. May all glory be to Him who reveals Himself in the most minute ways to confound us!

(Sorry, I can get caught up in Him sometimes- I can't type when I'm worshipping).

As I was soaking in the Prayer Garden tonight, my eye caught the pattern from one of the folding chairs. It's a pretty pattern of interlocking circles on a grayish-brown background. As I was studying it, I realized that there was a cross pattern in it. The circles (comprised of curved and straight lines) formed a Maltese cross. As the pattern expanded, there was anther cross that was created by five circles.

Five is the number of grace and the cross. I thought it was fitting. At this cross, however, the points of the circles intersection were made of four Maltese crosses. Four is the number of man-again, fitting, because "in Christ, all things hold together (Col. 1:17b)". The crosses could be expanded in either direction. I thought it was cool.

There was also a pattern of eights in the fabric, too. Eight is the number of new beginnings, which is one of the goals of the Garden. All are welcome to come experience His presence and be "renewed" in their mind and spirit. I then tipped the eight on its side, which became the symbol for infinity. God is without end, as is His mercy, grace, and love. He is called "El Olam", the Everlasting God. His Son is called "Alpha kai Omega", or the "Alpha and Omega". Jesus put an end to our fear death through His own. In Him, we can find a rest from all our cares and burdens. He also testified to the us about the Father. The two crosses stand for His faithful and true witness to us (Rev. 1:5).

God is in the everyday lives of His children. So often we sidestep the small things in order to gain the big things. I know that my reach sometimes exceeds my grasp in my walk with the Lord, but I know that if I am faithful in the small things, I will be ready for the big things. Take a look around. How is the Lord speaking to you today? You'd be surprised at the number of "love notes" He leaves for you throughout the day.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

In the Army now

We are drafted in the heavenly armies when we submit our lives to Christ. We become soldiers in his army, as expressed by the apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 2:4:

No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs,
rather, they try to please their commanding officer.

So how are we soldiers? We fight battles with our natural selves (Romans 7:5-6, 8:4) and we fight in the unseen realm (Ephesians 6: 12). By nature, without Christ, we are lost. We are bound for hell, and there is no hope outside of Him. Once we are saved, He becomes our Commander-in-Chief. we are thrown into a battle for ourselves and for others the second we enlist. The enemy will stop at nothing to derail us from our missions. The flesh, money, power, comfort-all of these things are good when they honor God. But these become weapons against us if they become our focus instead of our Commander. He clothes us in heavenly armor so that we may stand against the enemy. Along the way, He grants us fellowship with others so His army can work as a unified front. Christ appoints the generals that we follow.

Our bishops, pastors, deacons, and priests are our generals. These people have been called and ordained by our Commander to lead us into battle. They have been following Christ for some time, perhaps years, and have proven loyal. They are worthy of our respect. They are accountable for us to the Lord. They are literally His shepherds here on earth. But before the battle starts, the generals call on the intercessors (or scouts).

The intercessors use prayer to "scout" the landscape and lift if up to the Commander. They report what they have seen or heard to the generals. Very often these briefings will include battle plans and tips from the Commander on who the enemy (be it a ruler, principality, or the like) is and where they are. They also decide how to defeat the enemy. Remember, unlike earthly battles, the Battle of the Ages has already won, and we're on the winning side. Before the battle begins, the generals and scouts have to train their units. The people appointed to this task are the teachers.

An army is only as good as its training. If a soldier is trained poorly, he or she can drag his or her unit down. The teacher's job is to train the soldier to withstand enemy attack and follow orders from those about him or her. They also foster a camaraderie in the ranks among the soldiers, so the unit learns to function as one. This is vital on the battle field, just as it is in the spiritual realm. As soldiers, we fight for the Truth which we have gained, sometimes to the death.

Sometimes, we get wounded in battle. This is where the "medics" come in. Soldiers are taught how to heal, but some have more of an anointing than others. These people either go out onto the field and retrieve the sick and wounded (apostles) or they are behind the scenes, evacuating and treating the hurt. Through the battle, the worship leaders raise the battle cry to keep the troops' morale up. They are the modern day drummer boys.

Each soldier is equipped with special gift(s), so they may glorify God. Our Commander-in-Chief lives to help us win our everyday battles against ourselves and our enemy.

Our battle cry: HE IS RISEN!
Our calling: SECURE.
The outcome: JESUS CHRIST IS LORD OF ALL!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Food for thought

Recently, a session of the Open Heavens conference surfaced at a favorite haunt of mine. I had heard of the conference, but hadn't actually seen or heard what they were about. So I took a look at it. To say it (the session) was interesting is putting it mildly, I think. Bob Jones and Doug Addison did a great job explaining what I have sensed for awhile since our president took office on January 20.

Our country is having some serious issues right now. I won't go into detail, because I'm sure that you're quite familiar with them. Mr. Jones mentioned an excellent verse from Isaiah:

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (v.3)

The word steadfast can also be translated in some instances to mean "attached to", as well as "steady" or "loyal". If we are firmly rooted in God, we have nothing to fear. Our Father always provides, whether on our time or no. If we keep ourselves attached to Jesus, who is attached to the Father, we can experience peace about our circumstances, right?

Mr. Jones also mentioned that the United States was under judgement, and that the church is exempt from these judgements of anxiety, fear, depression and panic. Here's my question:

Are we exempt because we are in the church, or because the church is in us?

Many might say that since we are in the church, we are safe. I don't think that's true. There are plenty of people who have "fire insurance" at church who are very freaked out now. These people have chosen to put their trust in something other than the Lord. They are focusing on earthly things instead of the eternal. When we focus on the Lord instead, we can have peace. Not the peace that the world gives, but the kind that comes from a relationship with Jesus (see John 14:27).

This should be a busy time for us as His followers. If our branches are firmly connected to His vine, we will not be shaken. Will tough times come? Absolutely. We're not free from that part. In this time of shaking, we need to be re-presenting Christ to the world where we are. Even the smallest branch can bear fruit. That lady you smiled at in line at the store? She may have needed that today, as she just lost her job. That smile, to her, may have been her lifeline. She may have even wondered what makes you so happy. If our focus is on Jesus, we can point others to Him and invite them to focus on Him as well.

When our focus is on Jesus, we have no time for fear, anxiety, panic, and depression. His joy lifts us up, His Presence reassures us, and He has promised to return for us.

Now there's something to chew on.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Suit Up!

Stand firm, then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place...Ephesians 6:14

Our troops do not go into battle unarmed and unprotected. Why should it be any different with the followers of Christ? We fight in an unseen world, undetectable to the world around us, but our spirit recognizes its enemies. Our worldly enemies use camouflage to mask their efforts from our troops.

Sadly, the enemy uses camouflage as well. The following details a slip-up that occured when I let my "armor" down. Like everyone else, I don't like to air my mess-ups for the world to see, but this is one I felt led to share.

I woke up feeling drained spiritually. I made the decision to sleep in and allow for some extra rest. That was mistake number one. Finally, I got up, dressed, and went to work. Two of my fellow workers were in a rare mood that day. Both were not feeling well. Both have a tendency to gossip a little too much about other employees at times. I usually refrain, deeming it none of my business. Today, however, I decided to "indulge" in a little criticism of a few co-workers. BIG mistake.

I allowed myself to get wrapped up in their tales about So-and-So and What's-Her-Face. I went back to do some dishes, minding my own business, when I suddenly had a massive pain in my chest right above my heart. I evaluated the situation, and "heard" the words "breastplate of righteousness". The Lord opened my spiritual "eyes", and I repented immediately. I asked for forgiveness and tried to figure out what was causing the pain in my chest.
The Lord showed me that I had allowed the enemy an open door to attack through my criticism of others. Singing quietly, I worshipped at the dish sink, speaking with the Lord, and the pain began to lessen. As my shift ended, it was nothing but a dull ache. It was completely gone by Sunday afternoon (Praise God!).

In Charles F. Stanley's book, When the Enemy Strikes, he writes that the breastplate of righteousness is maintained by living obediently before God (page 147). Was I being obedient when I ignored the promptings to immerse myself in the Word before work, instead choosing to sleep? Not in the slightest. Was I obeying when I was slandering my coworkers? Nope.

Stanley goes on to write, "The 'heart' refers to the seat of the person's will, and also to the emotions, beliefs, and attitudes that feed into what a person wills or chooses (page 150)". I made the choice to disobey-no wonder I got attacked! We are called to be like Christ, not just in a few things, but in everything.

The Lord has asked me to live an open life before the world, so this is why I am sharing my struggles with all. I'm not perfect. One of the most important lessons I have learned is that this Christian walk is a journey. No one has "arrived" yet on this planet. One of the church's biggest flaws is presenting a spotless image to a world that is hurting and angry. We need to live a life that is real before the Lord and set His standard as ours. One of my favorite quotes is by a passionate warrior who laid down his life for God. It has since become one of my earnest prayers:

I will not be satisfied. I will not let my passion be held in a bottle. I will not let my light be hidden. I will stand up. I will let my voice be heard. I will lead. I will serve. I will fight...I will unsheathe my sword. It's time to raise a revolution. God will give me strength.
-B.J. Higgins, 1989-2005

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Precious ones who do not know Him

From http://prayforbj.blogspot.com -a great post by BJ's dad. May you be blessee by reading.

Who will go to the meet the needs of these who do not know Him? Who will deny self, and wear the splinters of rough hewn timber embedded in shoulder and back to fulfill the call of the Almighty?

It is necessary that we pray. It is necessary that we lift up others who go. It is necessary that we support those who are willing, so that they might go. These are worthy pursuits.
But who will go? Who will take on the commission of their King? Who will realize they are ruined and can only serve their Savior by going...that they have been running from His hand on their hearts for long enough?

Where can you go to escape? Are combative words and spirit enough to bring peace where turmoil boils? Can one escape the grip of grace by indulging the dross of bounty? Can belief and acceptance of worldly marketing schemes bring pleasure and satisfaction?

Can we continue to stand shoulder to shoulder with others who refuse to go, Sunday after Sunday, in a game of eternal red rover? Do we feel better about our Christianity when we have more who feel like we do than will respond to what Scripture compels us to do?

Does it matter that many die daily in our land and others, apart from the knowledge of Christ, while we gather at dinner parties or fellowship activities, telling no one who Jesus is? Do we really care? Is there any evidence to reflect our concern?

Jesus died that others might live. Is it really our right to live while others die and we withdraw to the security of our own escape and inaction?

When will we care? What will it take to move us from concern to obedience?

What does it profit the lost if we have the power of the testimony of Salvation, and only ever hold it close, thinking it not radical enough to impact another's life? What does that profit the Kingdom of God?

Are we really so selfish that escaping through the flames while keeping our own Salvation is enough? Is that what the Gospel is all about to us? Is that the measure of our motivation and progress in our relationship with Him?

Have we become lukewarm and in full denial of it?

What will it be like to relax in a pool of swill, assuring ourselves we've got it together, only to awake as we are spat out?

What DOES it profit a man to gain the whole world? Is the forfeiture of our souls a clause we're unconcerned about because we've found a loophole and a lawyer?

Who are the sheep? Who are the goats?

If we know a believer by his fruit, are we embracing famine?

Open war is upon us. Are we content to withdraw into the keep, holding out hope that the enemy will give up due to the strength of our fortress? Is God our fortress? If so, why do we reside within church walls that don't spill out people who are willing to walk in that same Gods' obedience?

Today, we must choose.

Will our knees bend that we might pray, or will they remain stiff that we can stand tall in our own pride?

Will our mouths be filled and then emptied of words of a Savior, or will they drink in the coffee of the day, and swallow its bitter flavor?

Will our hearts yield to allow Jesus to reign, or harden that we might enjoy another day of leisure?

How many more have passed into eternal separation from God while we read words and remain unmoved by His Spirit?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Life-changing prayer

I love my mom. We've done and been though a lot of things together over the years, and I count her as a friend as well as my mom. That being said, we don't always see eye-to-eye. Until recently, our arguments followed the same format: "I'm right because I'm your mother and you should listen to me".

As I was soaking in the Lord's presence one day, I realized that my prayers about my mom's attitude had changed mine. All the prayers I had sent up about her attitude towards Him and towards me had been replaced with a peace towards her. I realized that she didn't argue to cause me grief. She was trying to figure out where I was coming from, and how to make sense of our changing relationship. We had been joined at the hip for so long she felt left out of my new life. The Lord impressed upon me that since she is a social person, I needed to spend quality time with her and encourage her to talk about her feelings. He also showed me that this was not a new pattern: she had learned it from her mother. I've followed His advice, and have seen some breakthrough. I'm pushing for more, though. He can handle anything I throw at Him!

As I was meditating on this, a quote popped into my head by James Dillet Freeman:
"Sometimes, the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes you".

I'm ready for more change. I want to live in His consistency and His ability. Heaven can come down and invade earth. I believe that we can actually live there, walking in step with what heaven is doing. Walking out heaven here on earth day-by-day. I'm happy just thinking about that! Prayer helps us accomplish that-it pushes and challenges, but it also changes for the better.

So go pray and see what the Lord does-the results will surprise you!

The way I was meant to be

What is my purpose in life?

During my last year at college, I realized that I didn't know who I was nor what I wanted out of life. I had a desperate desire to please and gain approval from those around me, so I morphed into what they wanted me to be. I knew that what God thought of me was the place to start.

So, I made a radical decision: I left the church that I grew up in in search God and His purpose for me. I like my routine, so this was a MAJOR step. I had to step away from my past to look to the future. Looking back, I can see what He was doing, but at the time, I was sailing in uncharted waters.

For a few years, all I could seem to get was the outward reflection of who I should be. The church I had joined was concerned about my "spiritual man", but they weren't too keen on cultivating it. I volunteered, taught Sunday School, managed the Leadership students, and was the go-to person for a lot of people. Though I was seen as a leader at my church, I was dying spiritually. I was starving for God. I went on anti-depressants for awhile because I was trying to reach God through "busy-ness". I felt that I was a failure in my search for God.

While I was floundering, I continued my quest to find God. By this time, several friends had left my church and had started attending the Sanctuary. Also, I had requested a leave of absence at Sunday School and resigned from the ministry team. I was a wreck spiritually. I was not hearing God, and I was desperate. I had had several tastes of Him during worship time at church, and I was just hungry. The Lord saw that and began leading me away again from my comfort zone.

One of my friends at the Sanctuary invited me to come to her birthday party at CASI. As I was pulling into the parking lot, my one thought was :He's here! I couldn't get into the building fast enough. I could sense the presence of God in an amazing way. I was so starved that I just walked around the building, soaking it in. The anointing soothed my spirit and my mind. At that time, I was suffering from a cloud of fear and doubt. To be relieved of that burden was a blessing!. By the time I went into the party, I was on the verge of tears. I was so relieved that I could finally sense Him after several weeks. I had gone so long without Him-it was like reuniting with an old friend.

Needless to say, I joined the Sanctuary. Things began to open up for me-I could hear His voice clearly and we would talk for a little bit at a time. I was still hungry for more, so I thought about checking out the Prayer Garden. I put it off, and put it off, until the Lord said, "After break, I want you to go". I shrugged it off. The Lord then built a hunger in me to go see it. I ended up going, and I'm now a regular. The Garden was a place that I could go and draw what He showed me, learn about Him, and listen to His voice. It was there that I realized just how much He loved me. He was proud of me, and He loved me beyond measure. Even today, I still get "downloads" of God's love. Not just for myself, but for others as well. In His eyes, I am the most beautiful thing in His creation, and that is the way I was meant to be.

To be loved by Him and to love Him back with my whole heart, mind, soul, and strength.

To listen and watch for His coming.

To live in His faithfulness and consistency, not my own.

To do things that are impossible by myself. All I need to do is rest in Him, and He'll take care of the rest.

It's good to be friends with the King.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Which is Better: Belief or Faith?

I was perusing the bulletin for a service I attended recently and found that the pastor was doing a Lenten series called "Holy Habits". Intrigued, I read further. Each week was a different talk about cultivating habits such as prayer, confession, rejoicing, etc. When my eye fell on a session called "Belief and Worship", I felt the tug of the Holy Spirit. What is belief? What is faith? How are they different? Which one do we use (or should use) more?



Belief could be described as something you know. It's a knowledge thing, like a celebrity's baby name, or an athlete's team number. It's something that identifies the person or item being talked about. As Christians, we have our creeds and the Lord's Prayer, liturgies, doctrine, and the like. We like using these items to persuade Heaven to come down to us. It's very easy to say the Lord's Prayer. Most people are familiar with it, even if they aren't believers.The danger is when the words don't make the journey from the head to the heart. Now, I'm not saying that holy words don't have an impact. They have an amazing effect on a heart that has been torn (Joel 2:13). The heart that is open to Him can be fertilized by the Word when it is spoken.

However, when we believe with our heads, words can lose their meaning very quickly. We only progress so far in our walk because we can't reach God without a heart change. Much of our time in church is spent doing things for Him. Busyness is an American tradition. We wonder why we can't hear Him-we're doing all these things and saying these prayers for Him, right? Sadly, many of us fall away because we think that He is inaccessible to us. We've tried, and begged and pleaded to Him. Prayers are important-they bring our petitions before the Throne. Our songs of praise are important, as are the works that we do for Him. But God is interested in something far bigger than prayers and liturgies.

He wants us. He longs for us. He wants to hear every detail from our lips. He's the best friend that we can talk to 24/7. He's the buddy that you hang out with during your hikes in the woods. He LOVES to be with you.

When we only believe with our heads, we can miss out in that relationship. God is reduced to someone we contact only when things are bad. When all is well, we skip prayer time, a service there, Sunday School there, etc. But when we open our hearts, we can start walking in faith. Faith is taking belief and stepping out with it. Now, instead of just knowing the Lord's Prayer, it actually comes alive. Instead of a rote prayer, it becomes a tool to furthering our relationship with the One who longs for us. When we sing about the cross, it becomes real to us. Faith adds another dimension to our belief. It is this faith that pleases God the most (Hebrews 11:6). When our lives are turned upside down by trials, belief gives up quickly, because it can't be sustained. Faith gives us the ability to hope and have joy even in intense suffering, because we have faith that God is there and watching over us. Faith has substance: belief doesn't.

A man came to Jesus with his son. The boy had been possessed by a demon that tried to kill him by drowning or fire. The father was desperate. He believed with his head that Jesus was able to heal his boy. Presenting the child to Jesus, he said,"If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us". Jesus replied, "If you can? Everything is possible for him who believes". Immediately, the father exclaimed, "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief"!
-Mark 9:14-27(paraphrase mine)

"If" is the word that says, "I've traveled far and wide to reach you. I have heard about your healings, but I doubt that you can live up to expectations". Jesus' reply shook him out of his head belief and opened the way to his heart. The man realized what he had said, and immediately said, "I've been believing with my head! Help me to believe with my heart!"

When we ask the Lord to take over, we need to allow His truth to soak into our souls. By thinking with our heads, we lose out. Faith deepens a shallow walk and upholds the believer at all times. We should always ask for more faith. He's delights in giving His children great gifts.

So now I ask you:Which is better: belief or faith?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

An Audience of One

I'll admit it: I wanted to throw up.

It was a cold Saturday in December of 2004. I had been primped and polished, my diction was as perfect as it could be, and every note fought for with the zeal of the Allied forces on D-Day. My brain was mush from memorization, my voice warmed up, and my feet hurt in my shoes. It was the day I'd spent four years preparing for.

Buoyed by the fact that I looked beautiful, I entered my stage to affectionate applause. With a swish of my emerald-green dress, I turned and faced my biggest fear: a roomful of people waiting for me to sing. I was officially responsible for entertaining a group of family and friends for a whole hour. Not just three minutes here, ten there, but an hour. This was my final-I had to pull this off to graduate.

Everyone said that I looked incredibly calm and poised. Did the recital go off without a hitch? Sadly, no. I started badly, but finished to a standing ovation. Elation took the place of nervousness. Most importantly, though, the fear of failure was put to rest, at least for a little while. At the end, I declared that I wanted to be a busker in the subways of New York. I loved performing in that moment. All the hours I'd spent paid off in a magnificent way.

The next few months brought student teaching and graduation. During this time, I'd re-dedicated myself to the Lord and was learning how to align my will with His. I'd started attending a new church and life was great. I immediately thought of joining the worship team-I mean, who couldn't use my voice? I sought the Lord on it. I laid out my plan for Him: I would sing with this group and this is what I could do for Him if I was able to do that, etc.

The Lord's answer?

"No, I can't use you like this".

At first, I was shocked. EVERYONE liked my voice. Everyone said my voice was great and they loved to hear me sing. Then I looked closer at my heart. I realized that I had cultivated a critical spirit towards my fellow musicians and singers. Instead of building up performers, I was tearing them down because everything wasn't note-perfect. I was trying to fashion worship to suit me, not to please the Lord. Once I realized that I was doing this, I repented and asked the Lord to show me what I needed to change. Again, the Lord shocked me by asking me to walk away from it for a time.

I wanted the Lord to use me, so I said okay. I literally shed my identity. I had eaten, slept, and breathed music for four years of my life. I made short forays into the music world during this time teaching and singing once in awhile. Mostly, I just waited for the Lord to show me what to do. I realized that He wasn't doing it to punish me. He simply had things to teach me. Things like wanting others to succeed, encouraging others, learning new skills, and most importantly, listening to Him and how He liked "His" music.

I recently joined the worship team at my church. As I was worshipping and singing to the Lord with the group, I heard a familiar sound. Applause. The applause of heaven. Whoops and cheers and yells and clapping-what a sound!

The applause of heaven is available to all who lay their wills at His feet. That applause encourages, steadies, and lifts all souls to heaven. It reminds us of what we're alive for.

After all, we are performing for the audience of One.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Kiddushin

"While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body."
"Then he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."
-Matthew 26:26-28

Very simple words.

Nothing fancy. Just a rabbi and his followers, partaking of the Passover meal. It had been an eventful week. Jesus had entered Jerusalem on a donkey, disrupted trade in the Temple, taught many parables, and cursed a fig tree. This night found Him in the company of friends, the ones He loved. It should have been a time of rejoicing-they were celebrating Israel's deliverance from slavery.

Yet the mood was somber.The Passover Lamb was leading His followers through a story that they never witnessed before. The Lord had said that He would be crucified only a short while earlier. Now He had just taken the cup and the bread, saying that they were His Blood and Body. The disciples were probably quiet, pondering His words. In only a short time, one of the disciples would be dead, another overcome with shame, and the Lord would destroy death. The Bridegroom had betrothed Himself to His Bride-all that was left was to sanctify Her.

The word "kiddushin" is Hebrew for "sanctification". "Kiddushin" is used primarily for the marriage of a man and woman. But in this case, it was Jesus marrying Himself to His Church. All betrothals in the Jewish tradition were sealed with a glass of wine. The wine used was sweet, symbolizing the joy and abundance of the union. In the Lord's case, it symbolized the shedding of His blood to sanctify His people. The Lord knew this-I believe He did-that though His death would cause anguish to his Beloved, He also knew the joy and abundance that would come.

The Lord knew what was waiting for Him. He knew the price He had to pay. His bride price was His very self-nothing else would do. There was no way out. He broke the bread, and reminded them that though He would be gone, they should remember Him. Then He picked up the cup, the cup set out for Elijah to herald the coming of Messiah, blessed it, and reassured them that He would be with them again. On the eve of Israel's delivery from slavery, so the Lamb was delivering His loved ones from the clutches of death.

At the conclusion of the betrothal ceremony, the Chazan (groom) assures his Kallah (bride) that he would prepare a home for her. The Lord said that He has gone to prepare a place for us. If it was not so, He would be breaking His promise to provide for us. Each marriage was witnessed and drawn up with a contract (or ketubah). This was considered as binding as the marriage itself. This remained with the Kallah until the wedding night. Our ketubah is the Bible-when our Savior returns, our ketubah with be fulfilled.

Until then, we wait with hope. Come, Lord Jesus!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Wake, oh sleeper!

"In captive nations, the Son of Man and those who are His have nowhere to lay their heads. Many Christians there don't build houses for themselves. To what good? They will be confiscated at their first arrest. Just the fact that you have a new house can be a greater motive for you to be imprisoned, because the others wish to take your house. There you don't bury your father, neither do you say farewell to your family before following Christ...As for the natural ties, can they count anymore when it is a frequent occurence that the bride denounces the bridegroom, children their parents, wives their husbands? It is more and more the spiritual connection that remains.
The Underground Church is a poor and suffering church, but it has few lukewarm members."

-"Tortured for Christ", p. 84



The Underground Church in several countries are under intense persecution. Orissa State in India has seen more recent violence because the Dalits (Untouchables) are coming in droves to Christ. These brothers and sisters are considered dirt to their Hindu counterparts. They are considered unclean and have been harrassed and and beaten for their faith. To these beloved brothers and sisters, they have nothing else. Jesus is their only hope. In China, several pastors have been beaten and tortured for their faith in the Lord. Limbs are beaten with electric cords and metal pipes. Insults are thrown and slaps ring out. In Arabic countries, it is considered an honor to kill a family member who has chosen to follow Christ. In North Korea, there is a state religion called "Juche", which calls for the worship of the government's leaders. In this starving nation, indoctrination into the national cult begins early. Children are given one piece of candy a year. But in order to get this candy, they must bow and say a prayer to their nation's "gods". Believers in some nations are simply disappearing. Why are these men and women beaten, insulted, oppressed and killed?

They serve a Risen Savior.


They will not turn back to the old ways. They have found something better. Something that changed them forever. Something that made them realize that they were missing something HUGE. That "something" is Jesus. our risen Lord and Savior.


I am so thankful to live in a country that allows me to worship as I choose. I needn't fear being killed or abused for following Christ. Persecution isn't just an isolated event. It's happening in 52 nations around the world. We are called to "remember our brothers and sisters in chains" (Hebrews 13:3). Many of us are asleep. We care too much about our agendas and our programs, designed to keep us busy. We turn a blind eye to our brothers and sisters in these countries. Sadly, many say that the persecution doesn't exist.

What can we as a church do here in the West? We can acknowledge that we truly are blessed and be grateful. We can help these people with donations to freerice.org, Voice of the Martyrs (persecution.com), and several other charities. There are many ministries facing this challenge head on. There is so much still left to be done-we need to be disturbed from our slumber.

The Lord said in Revelation 3:2, "Wake up! Strengthen what little remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God".

Will we wake or continue to sleep? I choose to awake and do what I can.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Truth is not fact

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, truth is defined as "the real state of things". Fact is said to be "something that exists or occurs".

A fact is something that happens, like "I called Susie today" or "My car is sitting in the street". It is something tangible, something that can be grasped by human logic. Truth is similar, but it takes on a new dimension of the fact. "I called Susie today" becomes "I called Susie today and talked to her voicemail". It builds on the previous knowledge of what was said. I may have called, but I didn't talk to her. If the last part of the comment is missing, the listener loses out on a piece of vital information.

Our world relies on facts and figures to sustain us. Our economy is built on facts and figures. Our students are taught to memorize tables and tidbits of information. We are a practical people. We don't have time for foolishness. We only want to know more, it seems, when it comes to gossip. We aren't truly interested in the truth of the matter-our perspective is the only one that we seem to care about.

For believers in Christ, this thought of fact versus truth takes on a new dimension. The world's version of truth is not the same as God's. God's version of truth is what our world (or our enemy) doesn't want to hear. Through the ages, God has spoken His truth into many people. In fact, if we look at the Word of God, we can see several instances where this is the case. This isn't a comprehensive list, so you will have to do some exploring on your own. If you find more, please feel free to add to the list.

Fact 1#: Genesis 15: 4-5, 16:1-4
Abraham and Sarah were promised a son by God. They both knew that it was impossible naturally, so they decided to take matter into their own hands.

Truth 1#: Genesis 18:1-15, 21:1-4, 22:15-18
The Lord appeared to Abraham and repeated His promise to him. Though Sarah laughed, she conceived and bore Isaac in her old age. Through Isaac, God made a great nation.

Fact 2# :Exodus 4:18-20, 14:10-14
Moses came back to set his people free from the yoke of Pharaoh. When God had set them free, He led them to the Red Sea. The problem: Pharaoh's army was closing in and they had nowhere to go.

Truth 2#: Exodus 14:15-31
God told the people to march on. Moses lifted his hand over the sea, and the waters parted. After the Israelites crossed over, the waters swallowed Pharaoh's army. God didn't leave them trapped-he rescued them.

Other facts versus truths to ponder:

David and Bathsheba: 2 Samuel 11-12
Ruth
Esther
Paul's conversion: Acts 8:1-3, 9

And the greatest one of all:

The Lord's resurrection: Jesus was dead-but now He's alive! According to the world's truth, He is still dead. BUT God's truth is not dead- He LIVES!!!!

Snow talk

Wilson Bentley could be considered a snowflake expert. In the early 1900's, he captured the first snowflake on black velvet with a camera and microscope. His pictures were later included in his book, "Snow Crystals". Bentley was amazed to find that no two snowflakes are alike. He should know: over his lifetime, he photographed over 5, 000 crystals of snow, even catagorizing them. To Bentley, he was showing the world how wonderful nature could be.

We've had a lot of the white, fluffy stuff in the Midwest recently. Many of us are just sick of it. We're tired of plowing, shoveling, scooping, and throwing the snow that has fallen over the last few days. We don't bother to look closer at it-I mean, snow's snow, right? But the Creator of the universe took great care to provide us with an example of being ourselves. Remember, each snowflake doesn't have a twin. Bentley discovered that, and science has continued to prove it. There are no two flakes alike. Neither are there two people alike. The Lord saw to that!

The Word says in Psalm 139 that " he created our inmost being, he knit us together in our mother's womb" That means the Creator took exquisite care with each of us. He knows the number of hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30) and all the days ordained for us are written in his book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16b). We have a living God who cares for us and wants us to love Him. He is faithful even when we are not-he can't deny himself( 2 Timothy 2:13).

This truth is something that many deny-this truth that we can be ourselves. Being genuine in an unforgiving world is scary (especially for those who have been hurt). As followers of Christ, we are called to live a genuine life before the world. Conformity is not to be our garment. Most of us start out sparkling like a light (or a snowflake), but we get crushed by the tires of life and plowed through drifts of disappointment. We know that that original design is inside of us-we just get tired of fighting the world. We conform because it's easy. For those who do(and many who don't), there is a nagging sense that something's not right. We feel like we just pass through life and no one notices the beauty we bring to the world.

There is someone who does, though. He has many names, but this time, it's El Roi (ehl-raw-ee). It means "the God who sees me". It is used only one time in the Bible, but that doesn't diminish its power. This "God who sees me" is the same one who formed you in your mother's womb, who sees your tears when you are lonely, and the one who wraps His arms around you when you are grieving. He can help your light to shine again before the world. Sometimes it's comforting to know that you have someone bigger to rely on. Such " knowledge is too wonderful for us, too lofty to attain"(Psalm 139:6). The wonderful part is that we can start living in relationship with our Creator right now. We don't have to wait or follow the world's lead.

So go wave a flag, throw a snowball, or laugh until your sides ache. Pray with your hands open or closed. Sing or dance before Him who created you. The Lord thinks that you're just wonderful. It's time for the church to follow the Lord's example and love each other and the scary, unforgiving world. Time to shine our lights into the darkness. Time to love the Lord more and the world less. Remember: being who you are is not scary. Being who you're not is.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Reasons Why

Nickel Creek , a bluegrass band composed of Sara and Sean Watkins and Chris Thile, are a talented group of young musicians. Their songs are thought-provoking. " Reasons Why" is an excellent example of this talent. Nickel Creek's songs also seem to have a moral to the story which are akin to the parables used by Jesus.

The Lord used these lyrics to impress upon me why Christians have trouble in this world apart from Him. They strive and build, only to feel empty inside. They chase after pipe dreams and get-rich schemes, only to be left with nothing. It is only when we realize we have nothing that we can turn back to Him.
It all starts with a step away...

Where am I today? I wish that I knew

'Cause looking around there's no sign of you

I don't remember one jump or one leap

Just quiet steps away from your lead.

The believers knows that something's wrong-they just can't put their finger on it. They know that they are loved by God, but they feel disconnected. They call this world "home" when they're just passing through.

I'm holding my heart out but clutching it too

Feeling this short of a love that we once knew

I'm calling this home when it's not even close

Playing the role with nerves left exposed.


They make excuses, trying to fit into this world that won't fit them. They wonder why they stumble and don't grow. They make excuses, but they say they have reasons why they walked away.

Standing on a darkened stage, stumbling through the lines

Others have excuses, but I have my reasons why


The believers get distracted by the enemy, who isolates them and makes them lose sight of their God-given purpose in this life. Some may even recognize this, but will continue to do the very thing that keeps them enslaved. Some may even blame God for their plight.


We get distracted by the dreams of our own

But nobody's happy while feeling alone

And knowing how hard it hurts when we fall

We lean another ladder against the wrong wall


And climb high to the highest rung, to shake fists at the sky

Others have excuses, but I have my reasons why.

The Good News: Jesus came to set the captives free!


Those who live through it and become free will say to those who think that they are strong:

With so much deception, it's hard not to wander away.

Proverbs 3: 5-7 says, "Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes-fear the Lord and shun evil."

When we put our trust in the Lord, He will direct our steps. Blessings will come, prayers will be answered, and we will grow deeper roots spiritually. When we sit at His feet, we can learn the ways of wisdom from His guidance. When we walk away, we start losing sight of Him. We need to repent and turn back when we realize what we've done. In doing so, we will live. If we don't, we will be lost.